Time Teller Humorist Gifts

The Art of the Consultant: 'It's nine thirty.'

Physician tending a mummy.

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

Time management office worker

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

First Speeding Fine.

Why he always make pictures of him food?

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

Caveman Dictionaries

"Daddy likes to be really... really early for flights."

'Have you done any stand-up?'

'Hunting, gathering.... It's so hard to prioritize!'

'Me invent the wheel!'

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

Busy, Hargreaves?

'I don't think you can just claim to have invented doctoring. I mean. . . don't you have to be medically trained or something?'

Hello Mr. Babcock, this is 1983 calling.

Prehistoric Pizza Delivery

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

Time Scales

'Not only the first wheel, the first road accident as well!'

'Boy, you leave it parked for one lousy minute!'

"Note the arrangement of stones, the primitive inscriptions and drawings... Hopkins! We've discovered a prehistoric cartoon-a-day calendar!"

'You know, King Richard here hasn't paid for his parking space since 1485. Who do I send the bill to?'

"Some times you just got to know when to shut your blow hole."

Skeleton on an out of order escalator.

"But neighbor Schultz get ten." "Our toon get two likes." "Good grief."