Timekeeper Humorist Gifts

"That's Kevin Turner's mother. She's always late picking him up."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

Olga's Biological Clocks.

"It's time to wake up!"

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

Wiz Fipple and his Circadian Rhythms.

Pound sign in an hourglass.

Your talk of promptness seems to have worked - everybody was out of here by one minute after five.

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'DO you know what time we start here?'

Today isn't a good day. He's talking to New York now, then he's got a board meeting, after that there's an old Betty Grable film on TV.

Outstanding Time Management

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

'Sir, that efficiency expert you hired called -- he said he'll be five hours late.

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

"I charge by the grain."

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

Cuckoo bird in office.

'He lived paycheck to paycheck.'

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

Do' you have the time?'

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

Policeman's face reveals clock.