Timekeeper Humorist Gifts

Why Is She so Obsessed with the Passage of Time?

"That's Kevin Turner's mother. She's always late picking him up."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

Humpty's Mother watches her biological clock...

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Olga's Biological Clocks.

"It's time to wake up!"

Wiz Fipple and his Circadian Rhythms.

Pound sign in an hourglass.

'DO you know what time we start here?'

Your talk of promptness seems to have worked - everybody was out of here by one minute after five.

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Outstanding Time Management

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

'Sir, that efficiency expert you hired called -- he said he'll be five hours late.

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

Today isn't a good day. He's talking to New York now, then he's got a board meeting, after that there's an old Betty Grable film on TV.

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"I charge by the grain."

Cuckoo bird in office.

'He lived paycheck to paycheck.'

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

Danger Quicksand

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'