Timekeeping Jokester Gifts

'Just think-if we floodlight the garden we'll be able to tell the time at NIGHT too!'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

"It's time to wake up!"

Wiz Fipple and his Circadian Rhythms.

First Speeding Fine.

Biological alarm clock!

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

'Oh darn........I forgot The Alamo!'

"Man...and...wife...GO!!!"

"When my grandad retired you got a gold watch, I was told I could pop back and ask the time when they weren't too busy for me."

Office ready to leave at 5 o'clock.

'Uncle Oog isn't very smart, but he's a lot of fun to play horsie with.'

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

'Me invent the wheel!'

'About the suckers...is that standard or daylight saving time?'

"I've discovered a timing device on my wall."

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

"The reason why U.S. time is behind English time is because England was discovered first..."

'I don't think you can just claim to have invented doctoring. I mean. . . don't you have to be medically trained or something?'

Time Scales

"Remember what I said...keep an eye on the arrows!"

'Wait! -- We'll never develop a meaningful relationship if you keep knocking me unconscious!'

"Don't worry, it's just my body clock."

Computer celebrates the end of the working day.

Kid sees cuckoo bird coming out of birdhouse.

'It's a cover for the latrine, but yeah, it could be used for transportation...'

"Do you prefer your mattress firm or soft - not that it matters."

Skeleton on an out of order escalator.

Roman Hippies

"Note the arrangement of stones, the primitive inscriptions and drawings... Hopkins! We've discovered a prehistoric cartoon-a-day calendar!"