Tight Budget Gifts

'Jones, how about a moratorium on keeping up? Our budget is a bit tight this year.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Overdraft limit.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Your tax $ at WAR.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

Homeless count.

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Boris discover is where the 'money tree' is.

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."

'The NHS believes in a carrot and stick approach to motivation...'

Minnesota Deficit Next Year.

Security/Savings