Living On A Budget Gifts

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"C'mere, space heater."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

Sam's Nation Building

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

No Frills Psychiatrist.

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Wallpapering.

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

"Shortages, higher prices, closings...and they still throw away half their food."

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

The cost of smoking

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

'From living beyond our means, we've gone to living beyond our wildest expectations!'

"To cut own on heating costs, we should consider house pooling."

'Do you have a house for under £70 a week? Yes and I intend to continue living there.'

Vulture oil inc.

"The inflation isn't that bad. The kids pick berries, my wife picks grass and leaves, and once a month we can afford a loaf of bread."

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

This one's got power brakes, power steering, power windows and power payments!

'YOU look at the size...and I'LL look at the price!'

'It's been a huge success.'

With a cold, cold winter...how to lower your heating bill.

'it's okay. The package says 'facial quality'.'

"Remember you did say we have all got to tighten our belts."