Budget Living Gifts

No Frills Psychiatrist.

'Do you have a house for under £70 a week? Yes and I intend to continue living there.'

Wallpapering.

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"C'mere, space heater."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

"We've townsized."

Sam's Nation Building

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

The cost of smoking

"Shortages, higher prices, closings...and they still throw away half their food."

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

Budget Stoplights.

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

'From living beyond our means, we've gone to living beyond our wildest expectations!'

"To cut own on heating costs, we should consider house pooling."

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

'Bring me a nice bottle of something that'll impress the lady, for under a fiver.'