Budget Housing Gifts

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

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'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Your tax $ at WAR.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

Homeless count.

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

Early House Hunting.

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

Boris discover is where the 'money tree' is.

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."