Budget Gifts

If Medicare-for-All Were a War, No One Would Ask: How Do We Pay for It?

"We're working on it - but first we have to know what to call it!"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."