Budget Analysis Gifts

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

'I'm home early. Due to budget cuts, the school district is laying off students.'

New contract favours 'business-savvy' GPs.

". . . We're being sucked into the UK national debt!"

"Sorry, George - it's time to pass the trophy on."

Post Office 30km.

'Our best exit strategy is to privatize the military and send in mercenaries.'

Social Services held back by risk, unrealistic targets and budget cuts.

Gov. Scott Walker requires government workers to pay more for pensions.

'We will take form the middle class and the poor. . . and give it to the rich!'

The following budget summary may upset those of a nervous disposition.

'The budget deficit is falling! The budget deficit is falling!'

"You're darn right I'm worried. He's expressed a lot of curiosity about my budget."

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."