Spending Analysis Gifts

Percentage Lifetime Income.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

Keep the econoimy moving

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

". . . We're being sucked into the UK national debt!"

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

Run in the Family

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Stephen King's latest horror novel: 'Healthcare reform debate'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

The following budget summary may upset those of a nervous disposition.

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

Consortia set to take over

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

"I need nothing and I want everything."