Budget Analysts Gifts

No Tread on Me

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

'The anger management class ruined our budget when they ordered love seats.'

'This one is for not targeting any critics of pentagon spending...'

'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the voluntary agencies...and letting them fight it out was by far the cheapest.'

'Rumsfeld wants a leaner, more agile military that's harder to pin down at budget hearings...'

'This will enable us to make the necessary saving without sacrificing our leather office chairs and plush carpets.'

"Safety has been a problem, but it's worth the money we save by eliminating company cars."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"Who's got the hammer?"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

Committee on Deficit Spending and Positive Spinning.

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

EU

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'