Budget Analyst Gifts

"What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong,"

Your Pizza Dollar

'Our economic forecasts are based on a complicated mathematical formula.' (Hope/Experience).

"We're over budget already and we haven't finished building the scale model."

Office of Management and Budget and Mandatory Cuts

'Our new Finance Director, Ebenezer, tells me he can start immediately on identifying areas where we can make cuts.'

"Overtime on the Humpty-Dumpty project is killing the treasury."

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

I think we've got the numbers right we just don't know which ones to use... Or what order to put them in.

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.

Defense Budget: 'You could try letting the air out of the tires.'

'They called it 'outsourcing'.'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Blocked In - Republicans vs Democrats.

IT departments taking all companies' money

"Who approved all this infrastructure spending for casinos?"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"The Budget Committee needs to know - is the moat national security or infrastructure?"

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

'We just drive by and throw candy and stuff like in a parade.'

'It's the little things that add up - checking receipts, redeeming vouchers, the diamond mine at the bottom of the garden.'

'The budget and accounting department has just issued a 'code red' alert. We're all to down our rose colored glasses.'

Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

Company Awards - "The innovation Award goes to Henderson for living within his salary."

Belt tightening at the Capitol Building.

'Rumsfeld wants a leaner, more agile military thta's harder to pin down at budget hearings...'

School Funding Equation

"Great, but where are they going to get the money to pay for them?"

ATM Inside

"The figures are accurate. We've rounded-off to the nearest billion."