Ticker Tape Whisperer Gifts

Google stock IPO.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Uh-Oh..."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

Sales tied in knots

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

"What are you in for?"

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."