Ticker Tape Fanatic Gifts

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

The day the stock market went UP.

Fly Football

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Philosopher trading cards.

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

"Hey! Where'd the Angel Fish come from!?"

"Then we just cut the cartoons with a little more baby laxative."

"I hope I live long enough to see Bush's view of his legacy come true! I'll be around a long, long, long time!"

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

"I've hired a new nit-picker: he's been great so far!"

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."