Ticker Tape Sorcerer Gifts

Ticker-tape.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Computer Expert

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Hardware and software

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"We're hoping for an upturn in the 5th quarter."

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

'Once the treasurer has passed out his reports, he will field some questions...'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

"What a midfield wizard!"

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'