Stock Market Sorcerer Gifts

'Unethical? What do you mean, unethical?'

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'