Financial Sorcerer Gifts

I'm not 100% sure it will work...

'I've decided to sell before the market goes stale.'

Computer Expert

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Bedtime stories at the Browns'.'

Windows or Mac?

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

Businessman Panhandling

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

The Circle.

'We could use a little sales magic.'

"They say you're a miracle worker, so I'm wondering if you could part my sea of red ink?"

R. Chones, Financial Counselor: On Vacation. Watch Suze Orman.

European Stock Analyst

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

"This family needs to be more responsible with our finances. A fool and his money are soon parted."

"Aww, look. Baby just seeped her first credit card!"

"Some of us think he's a sales magician."

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

I.R.S. in god we trust - all others we audit

'No sir, I'm afraid there isn't a patron saint for investors.'

Witch Online

Beggars' sign - 'Firmly believed my own financial newsletter'.

'So, does anyone else have a problem with the way I run this company?'