Stock Sorcerer Gifts

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'The market is up 18 points and all is well.'

'If stocks are up, bonds are down. If bonds are up, stocks are down. It's life's Yin and Yang.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Computer Expert

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

If Disney was a software company

Hardware and software

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Windows or Mac?

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"We're hoping for an upturn in the 5th quarter."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Once the treasurer has passed out his reports, he will field some questions...'

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

"What a midfield wizard!"

'We could use a little sales magic.'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

R. Chones, Financial Counselor: On Vacation. Watch Suze Orman.

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."