Shelf Sorcerer Gifts

Hammer Drill

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'Needs salt!'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Hardware and software

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Mysteries.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

"What a midfield wizard!"

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"Hmmm?!"

Other Fiction

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

Bookshop Adventure

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

'Put together beautifully. . . all you need now is some books.'

Library Waiting to Happen