Kitchen Sorcerer Gifts

Will I ever remember to read the recipe before I throw out the package?

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'Needs salt!'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Husband bakes a pie

Witch's Brew.

"Gigot de sept heures."

Hot pot

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"More helium."

"Fridge-to-table"

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."