Kitchen Sorcerer Gifts

Will I ever remember to read the recipe before I throw out the package?

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Benihana style of cooking.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

Witch's Brew.

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Husband bakes a pie

"Gigot de sept heures."

Hot pot

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"More helium."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

The legend of Chef Arthur.

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"More?"

"Fridge-to-table"

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."