Recipe Sorcerer Gifts

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

Computer Expert

If Disney was a software company

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Witch's Brew.

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Windows or Mac?

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

Maestro

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

I mean, do I set the oven at 400'? 450'? How long do I keep them in? Do I turn them halfway through cooking? Oh, if only children came with instructions.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'We could use a little sales magic.'

Wow. That WAS a lot faster.

Master Mum

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that,'