Kitchen Specter Seekers Gifts

The Ghost of Food

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

Stock Cube Crossing

The Paranormal Society...

'Yech, there's a worm on my plate!' - 'That's a sausage, you fool.'

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

'You've got to be kidding...you mean there's a recipe for this?'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"That's funny. . . that's usually his favorite meal!"

'I made the mistake of buying Greg a do-it-yourself wine making kit and a beer kit. Now we've got a 5-year supply of chianti with a thick, creamy head.'

'This soup must be loaded with additives. The label says that 'frequent use of this product requires periodic liver function tests'.'

Out to lunch (in kitchen).

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'