Tape Enthusiast Gifts

'Pete and I have what we call the '80 percent duct tape rule'. Once something is patching up with 80 percent duct tape, I can toss it.'

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Rap music

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

Yo! Emmett Kelly raps! (with ringmaster flash)

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

Rap-scallions

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Beware of Dawg.

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Gangsta wrap.

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Yo, I'm Scrapper the Rapper, shelters are cool, but I'm no fool -- the dream in my head, is to sleep on your bed. Adopt now!"

'My resume,...in rap form!'

The Grim Rapper

Hip hop Santa.

"Oooh...yes! I frickin' love this song too!"

Rap-Nav.

"Here's a little song I wrote after hearing it on the radio."

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

Bling Crosby.

'That's my dad. He does his best work in the bathroom.'

"I've joined an Eminem tribute band."

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

"Your Honor, gangsta rap made me do it."

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

"I'm not building a nest this year—I want to focus on my music."

At the CD shop.