Tick Terror Investigator Gifts

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

Lyme Disease Research Lab

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Bureau of Missing Persons

Keyboard player

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

Mouse with map exiting maze.

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

The Line-up

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

Sigmund Freud.

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

"Police have no suspects at the present time but believe that the motive for robbery was the desire for increased income."

"Remember what I said - resist the narrative fallacy."

'The name's Victoria. I was told I could find a gumshoe here.'

"Okay buster!! On the ground and arms behind your back!!"

Farmer to son: 'For heaven's sake Jeb! Get Bessie out of that tall grass now! Can't you see she's full of ticks?!'

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

'I could murder a pint!'

"Come on, Vinny! We already know you crossed the road. What we want to know is, why?"

Illustration for 'Philip Fraser's Fate'.

'Well, Tom, everyone suffers from delusions from time to time.'

Spyware is easy to see, if you know where to look.