Quirky Investigator Gifts

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Channelling on the Cheap

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Ghostship

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Ghosts and Aliens in Bath

Inside the Bermuda Romantic Triangle

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"Thank God you're here, first I need your help assembling this Ikea exorcism futon."

The first transatlantic communication.