Midnight Investigator Gifts

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

Late night teddy reading

'Your night writing book, madam.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Complexity Made Simple.

"This is not good at all!"

Fingerprint Show

"Wake up. It says here I was right about that thing I said."

Two men converse secretively

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

Wine...Spirits...

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

'I'll need four character references.'

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

The Banana Crime

First space criminal investigation

"Oh, and I've started seeing a therapist."

'Woodruff, find out everything you can on a crazy thing called 'love'.'

'My brain's secret life is keeping me up nights.'

"They should talk to you, some of your sermons are like dental surgery"

'It is a little-known fact that all our energy problems would be solved if kids weren't such total wimps.'

Milt had a friend video all of his dates so he could see where he screwed up.

"He'd been drunk,he'd been walking past the zoo...there had been something else, but damn he couldn't remember."

'Oh yeah? Well if you're not a vampire, would you care to explain why you have no reflection?'

'I did go to the bathroom, but since I was up anyway, I decided to drop in over here.'

'I'd be more excited about you finding your ball if it wasn't three o'clock in the morning.'

'Third one this month. Do you always have to analyze everything to death?'

'Exhibit A,,,smoking gun,'

'It's hard to choose. Can you find out if the second one from the left is married?'

"All right, have it your way - you heard a seal bark!"

"You said we should always question our sources, so I did, and now my source wants a word with you."

Trading Standards man entering 'Toys r sus'

Conspiracy theories are just a smokescreen to hide the incredible truth

2 A.M. on a Moonless Night