True Crime Investigator Gifts

'Exhibit A,,,smoking gun,'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"True crime meets reality TV"

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Crime in bookshop

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Madoff and devil.

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

Bribery and Corruption.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Newton's Law and Order.

911: Would You Like Us To Commit a Crime?

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

Book Thief in True Crime Department