True Crime Writer Gifts

Truman Capote

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

The Philip Marlow family

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"True crime meets reality TV"

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Crime in bookshop

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Madoff and devil.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

911: Would You Like Us To Commit a Crime?

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"I couldn't finish that book either."

The Investigation

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

Arrest of La Tuta