True Crime Author Gifts

'Lizzie Borden, your mother and I will make a lady out of you if it kills us!'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

The Philip Marlow family

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"True crime meets reality TV"

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Crime in bookshop

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Madoff and devil.

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

The Investigation

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

'Make it look like an accident.'

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"The sweet smell of the leaves and the rain make fall such a refreshing time!"

'So far we don't have any suspects.'