True Crime Author Gifts

'Lizzie Borden, your mother and I will make a lady out of you if it kills us!'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"True crime meets reality TV"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

Crime in bookshop

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Madoff and devil.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

911: Would You Like Us To Commit a Crime?

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

The Investigation

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Arrest of La Tuta