Thoughtful Jokester Pillows

A panhandler with a sign that reads "Not afraid of success anymore".

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Men dancing

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Leaving cards.

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Broad Minded

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Interrupted Shower.