Thermostat Tweaker Gifts

"You sure you don't wanna turn the AC down just a tad?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"Anything else...apart from the wheel?"

"Yes, dear, I was cool under pressure in the boardroom. It's 58 degrees in there!"

'I've been keeping my thermostat down to 14'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

"You'll thank me when you see the heating bill."

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

Ah Ah hands off the thernostat

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

"You're in my realm now - keep your hands off the thermostat."

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

"I think I see some eggs in here."

'A body temperature of 98.6 normally wouldn't worry me but this is in centigrade!'

"Boxing Day is cancelled this year. We're going to stop cold turkey."

"I'm staging a battle between the humidifier and the dehumidifier."

"I forgot to turn the thermostat up."

"March 177th? Already?!"

'Ah-ah! Hands off the thermostat!'

'This new vestments freedom does seem appropriate for the comical twaddle he sometimes spouts.'

Social comment on the time-honoured tradition of attaching a Just Married sign to the newlyweds car

'Look at it this way Sylvia - I'm at a Bar Mitzvah without the Mitzvah.'

"Alright to tweak the central heating down a notch dear?"

"I find you in contempt for consistently referring to me as 'Your Highness'."