Thermostat Tinkerers Gifts

'I've been keeping my thermostat down to 14'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

Organic Soldering.

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

Innovate or die.

'That book is still floating around the system.'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Humphry Davy: "My isolation of the alkali metals led...to this great battery..."

Adaptability

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

'I've been riding small, fast bikes for awhile. I thought it was time to build a bigger motorcycle.'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

'Fuel efficient automobiles.'

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

". . . And what electricity we don't use we can sell back to the National grid."

'What did I tell you about texting during dinner?'

"I've never seen such destruction on a phone. What happened?"

"Shouldn't have bought a touch-screen TV."

"You sure you don't wanna turn the AC down just a tad?"

"Then on a lark, I made the foolish mistake of writing a program that did what I did."

'Well, no wonder -- you should have had it winterized.'

'I'd bet that with that race engine, you could beat anybody to the neighborhood grocery store.'

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.