Gene Tweaker Gifts

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"I've been genetically modified!"

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

Recombinant DNA Lab. To-da! The palindromedary!

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

'So I left a little bit out of the genetic code when I cloned you. You're only missing a nose. What's the big deal?'

You mixed your DNA with that of a carrot? I've created a giant loud-mouthed left-leaning vegetable. Some would say that's redundant. Very funny. It's worse that that. The carrot doesn't share just my politics … You smell beautiful, like ranch dressing on a spring day. I do like a tall vegetable.

Professor...what are you doing?

"Yes, dear, I was cool under pressure in the boardroom. It's 58 degrees in there!"

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

"Anything else...apart from the wheel?"

New, Improved Cat

'Oh, wow, you found my science project and it works!'

Ab Lawson's Genetic Engineering Farm

Recombinant DNA Lab. It's a Rhinocerose!

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'Hi dear - how was your day at the genlab?'

"Really Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!"

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

'Who's your Daddy?'

DNA Lab. Let's just say that at the lab picnic next month, I plan on winning the three-legged race!