Template Tweaker Gifts

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

New music conference

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"Anything else...apart from the wheel?"

"Yes, dear, I was cool under pressure in the boardroom. It's 58 degrees in there!"

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

Musical Pondering.

'I think he is a composer.'

'Moon, June...'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

"You sure you don't wanna turn the AC down just a tad?"

"I'm composing a song for the new administration. It's entitled, 'Hell to the chief'."

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"Love the melody. . . but the lyrics need work!"

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

"Boxing Day is cancelled this year. We're going to stop cold turkey."

Guess Your Age 25c Keep Your Age a Secret $10.

"I think I see some eggs in here."

'This new vestments freedom does seem appropriate for the comical twaddle he sometimes spouts.'

"There'll be no shortage of suspects, sergeant, the victim composed plaintive piano music for TV documentaries."