Theatrical Producer Gifts

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. V. - Theatrical depression.

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

Hey, Bard, I'm the one who wrote all those plays you've been taking credit for, chimpanzee #158,634,765,234,897,555, 345,876,999, ...

The Costumer Is Always Right

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Just be yourself."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Hamlet'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Leslie Caron.

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Trump! The Musical

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Shakespeare was bisexual

Daughters on the beach

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."