Theatrical Gifts

'So this is what you do while I'm gone.'

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'They all want to play the star.'

Tut and Carmen.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Herman Mankiewicz

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Jean-Paul Sartre

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"Extreme miming"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'Hamlet'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Champagne