Theatrical Arts Gifts

Modern Major General

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Guitarist

'They all want to play the star.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Tut and Carmen.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Herman Mankiewicz

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Cimafunk

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Jean-Paul Sartre