Theater Geek Gifts

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'Is there a Doctor Loosen in the house?'

'I think you misunderstood, it's an 'Adolf and Eva' party.'

My Fair Lady Twitter

Tsars in their eyes.

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Audience Participation

Shakespeare was bisexual

The end is near.

Scarpia's Palace

Koko pleads with the Mikado

Ugly sisters from Cinderella fighting

I Pagliacci

The actors' guild

Comedy, Tragedy, Beardy

"'Scuse me, Guv. . . Is this 2B or not 2B?"

Toupee? Or Not Toupee? That is the question?

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Pirate King

Puss in Drag.

'You're looking for someone to play the part of a washed-up, hammy actor?... Hold on, I have someone here who could've been born for the part.'

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

Shake Spear. 'Neither a hunter nor a Gather be.'

'These really are the Cheep Seats.'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

"Unfortunately, I'm working on a shoestring budget, so you'd be reconnecting my cable for the exposure..."How actors pay the bills.

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

"I didn't realize we'd be interviewing a Frenchman."

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

Ernie, where have you been lately? At a Shakespeare class! Check this out! "Shall I compare thee to a summer's whey?" "To brie or not to brie, that is the question." "There would this muenster make a man." "The feta part of valor is discretion." Ernie, this course seems a bit cheesey. I thought it was gouda! Get me to a creamery!

Great Moments in Literature. Shakespeare. Traveling Players. I've written a new play all about this prince in Denmark -- if only I know what to call it! Don't worry, Bill --- I'm sure you'll think of a title by the time we reach the next hamlet!

"What the hell took so long?"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"I forget who our cult actually worships, but we have a hell of a good time."