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'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'Is there a Doctor Loosen in the house?'

Tsars in their eyes.

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Audience Participation

Shakespeare was bisexual

Scarpia's Palace

Koko pleads with the Mikado

Ugly sisters from Cinderella fighting

I Pagliacci

The actors' guild

Comedy, Tragedy, Beardy

"'Scuse me, Guv. . . Is this 2B or not 2B?"

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Pirate King

Puss in Drag.

'You're looking for someone to play the part of a washed-up, hammy actor?... Hold on, I have someone here who could've been born for the part.'

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

'These really are the Cheep Seats.'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

"Unfortunately, I'm working on a shoestring budget, so you'd be reconnecting my cable for the exposure..."How actors pay the bills.

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

"I didn't realize we'd be interviewing a Frenchman."

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

"What the hell took so long?"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"I forget who our cult actually worships, but we have a hell of a good time."