The Office Warrior Gifts

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

37 years in the same position.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Overworked in the office

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Office slaves.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."