The Matrimonial Jedi Gifts

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

'He does.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Sulk Shows

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'Can we skip to the part where I charge with a light saber?'

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Couple on a Tandem Cycling in Different Directions

"We've only been married three years and she's already giving me gbh of the ear 'oles."

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

'Your wife's on line three. And she's asked for the speaker phone to be put on full volume.'

'Of course I'm not fooling around with my secretary, Helen -- my receptionist would kill me!'

'Hi, I'm Linda, and this is my husband Jack. He's been having trouble keeping his penis to himself.'

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, with no chance of parole.'

"Actually, that doesn't constitute a crime; but I do hope your wife returns your hopes and dreams."

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

'He goes without saying - usually to the pub' (woman to marriage counselor)

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"I was just surprised you put the word 'marriage' next to the question asking if you suffered from a chronic condition."

"I wouldn't have smacked you on the butt if I'd known your light saber was in your back pocket."

'My marriage is at the stage where we may re-model the kitchen - again!'

'I do, but no promises.'

"That's it for assets. For liabilities, I suppose I should start with her."

'I don't have any trouble keeping my weight down — I married an appetite suppressant.'

'I bet your Sunday mornings are different now you're married,eh Sam!'