The Humorously Supernatural Gifts

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Praying mantis.

Shoe repair

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Vampire Family Photos...

Eye of Newt Helper

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

Healthy Witch Digest

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'You need to start using a fabric softener.'

'Stick on Souls'

"All I have to say is that someone better be bleeding."

"Is that permanent?"

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"Oh, did baby get a boo-boo?"

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

"Just as I expected, Mrs Frimley. You've got vampires."

"Does that mean trick or treaters too?"

Advertising meets cryptozoology...

"Wait a second- is that organic?"

"I didn't really plan for this, so I'll need you to return my posthumous donation."

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

"If you don't give me any candy, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life!"

'So where are you going?'