Hauntingly Humorous Gifts

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Zombie standup

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Demonic Repossession.

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

Hellbillies.

Pranking Zombies

Bat out of Hell

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Heaven and Hell

Gas Bill

Sir Gilbert Murgatroyd

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled...'

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

A Heated Argument

The Neighbours from Hell....

The lessor of two evils.

'Of course you've got a grumbling wife who is an organized labour and who works for the SEC. Where do you think you are, man?'

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

Summer in Hell

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."