Hellishly Humorous Gifts

'So where are you going?'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Demonic Repossession.

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Bat out of Hell

Hellbillies.

Heaven and Hell

Gas Bill

Special Place in Hell...

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

The Neighbours from Hell....

A Heated Argument

The lessor of two evils.

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

Summer in Hell

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'Of course you've got a grumbling wife who is an organized labour and who works for the SEC. Where do you think you are, man?'

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"