Haunting Humor Gifts

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

Zombie standup

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Macbeth: Take Two

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Ghost puddle

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

The following is a paid political announcement.

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Fancy a pint?

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Cat Frankenstein

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'You complete me.'

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

Pinata Zombies

"Well, we got the grant."

...your sales are rather anemic

The Zombie Awakes...

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"