Haunting Gifts

"You know, you wouldn't be blind if you would poke holes in your sheet."

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

"It's over, Harry!"

Armstrong Maynard, waaaake uuuuup!!! Waaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuppp!!! Give me a break. Heavy sleepers are absolutely the worst part of the haunting business. Bang on a pot!

IIt isn't so bad. I feel about how I used to after watching TV all day.'

"She acts like I don't even exist..."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

A boast of ghosts

'Of course, but it's very expensive, with all that organic food, renewable energy and 5 star health care and horrendous surcharges on sin.'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'You seem to be in good spirits.'

"Come on, Tom ... get an afterlife, will you?"

"You CAN be an effective haunter - we just need to unlock your potential!"

"Too much gaudy. Not enough Ghoulie."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Spirits in the bottles

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

Out To Lurch

Duck Hunt

Ghost School.

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

Deer Season Open.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Tallyho!"

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"