The Constant Questioner Gifts

"What makes people wear clogs?"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

Lost and Profound.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

Religion, This End Up

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

"What's it all about?"

God hounded by the media.

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Hang on - I've forgotten the question!"