Persistent Questioner Gifts

Ask Sadie. Sadie: With bodies like ours, how do we measure for new Belly Putter????? - Jim; RPV, CA. *Actual reader question. This question is just as excellent as the previous sixteen times you sent it over the last 5 months, Jim … And I'd like to reward your tenacity by finally – at long last – answering it … But it seems we're out of time today. Is Sadie short for sadistic?

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Lost and Profound.

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

"What's it all about?"

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

Religion, This End Up

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

Damned if you do...

'Does My Bum Look Big In This Dimension?'

'You are lucky, I've already refused to see five salesmen this morning.'

God hounded by the media.

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"