Persistent Questioner Pillows

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Lost and Profound.

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

Damned if you do...

"What's it all about?"

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

Religion, This End Up

'You are lucky, I've already refused to see five salesmen this morning.'

God hounded by the media.

"Hang on - I've forgotten the question!"

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"