Quiet Questioner Gifts

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Crowded Ice Fishing

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Ostrich Curoisities

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"Cat got your tongue?"

Chess on TV

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

Large Print Librarian.

'He's a man of few words. Words to the editor not included.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"If someone says they're a leader and no one hears it, is it true?"

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

'Nice job, Harold, you finally found me a nice quiet nesting place.'

'Okay, you can see him now. But you must promise not to wake him.'

Frequently Asked Questions

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Hello- I'm a Wreck.

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."