Quiet Questioner Gifts

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Crowded Ice Fishing

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"Cat got your tongue?"

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Chess on TV

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

"If someone says they're a leader and no one hears it, is it true?"

'He's a man of few words. Words to the editor not included.'

William would often take long walks along the beach, seeking inspiration for his next timesheet.

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

Large Print Librarian.

'Nice job, Harold, you finally found me a nice quiet nesting place.'

'Okay, you can see him now. But you must promise not to wake him.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

It's so quiet here, now that the goldfish is gone.

Hello- I'm a Wreck.

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."